Researchers reported the discovery of a gospel fragment in a remote Southern California seminary that promises to “revolutionize our understanding of the historical Jesus,” according to an article in the latest issue of the Journal of Emergent Literature.
The fragment was discovered on a lavender sticky note attached to the inside back cover of a student notebook, and seems to have originally been located at the end of Matthew chapter 5. The fragment only survives in an English translation of an Aramaic original, according to researchers.
49 And when he had finished speaking, Jesus went to dine with some scribes and Pharisees. They reclined at table and talked until midnight.
50 There was a lull in the conversation, and a scribe spake unto Jesus saying, “There isn’t a single good reason I can think of to take your personal interpretation over the cumulative, scholarly, historical, orthodox work of traditional commentators.”
Quentin Quesnell denounced the fragment as “a self-serving hoax and a transparent forgery.” Representatives of the Center for Aramaic and English Studies were unavailable for comment.
Bible-Thumping Liberal 
*chuckle* Did I ever send you the modern parable I came up with whilst sparring with the nuts on Facebook?
A Modern Parable
by Matthew B. Winkel, Reconciling United Methodist
A man was walking down a city street when his eye was drawn by something. He stopped before an ancient brick building covered with ivy, and realized what had caught his attention.
Moving the overgrowth aside, he revealed a small, ornate golden sign engraved in an elegant script. He was puzzled, however, by what it said:
[Do Not Remove This Sign]
What purpose could this ever have served? After thinking for only a moment, the man entered the building and asked the superintendent, who agreed that the sign certainly served no purpose anymore.
The superintendent removed the sign — which brought a few bricks with it — sold the gold, and gave the proceeds to charity.
The ancient building still stands — solid as ever.
And look at all those other buildings in the city — different ages, sizes, designs — but they all make up the same skyline!
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Definitely leaves one pondering, and less transparent then mine! Thanks.
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