i am the mother of a 17 yr old lesbian. thank the powers that be that i gave up my independent fundamental baptist life years ago. i can’t imagine what that would have done to her. well, perhaps i can upon reconsidering.
i had the misfortune of marrying a child molester. we had been married 5 years, had 4 unsuccessful pregnancies and adopted 3 biological sisters. (my 17 yr old is his biological child, my only one.)
3 years after adopting the sisters, the middle daughter, then 5, disclosed to me that my exhusband was molesting her, and her 7 yr old sister. we were unable to ask the youngest anything, she wasn’t yet talking. i was so burdened with this that, naturally, i turned to my church for support. they promptly removed my children from my home to put them in care with other families in the church until i could ‘get over’ the whole ordeal. how does one exactly ‘get over’ the fact that your husband raped your 5 yr old daughter? and played torture games with your 7 yr old?
i also discovered that he’d molested an infant before i’d met him. his mother and sister knew – didn’t tell me, and let me marry and adopt girls with him. i was treated as if i chose this. as if my marrying him was all part of the plan for my life. i lost my family, my church, my friends, and eventually my kids. the only one with me now is my 17 yr old. being treated like i was the one that committed this heinous act, being not allowed to teach sunday school, or be in the choir, or head a committee or even take part in church functions – being accused of driving and drinking, taking drugs, and being told i didn’t NEED my medication for depression almost killed me. it did kill a huge part of me, spiritually. there is so much judgement among so called christians. it. has. to. stop. NOW.
I can only imagine what you’ve gone through. How does a person handle this — being surrounded by such toxic, poisonous people? People bring their perverse personalities with them into the church.
If you ever decide to look for a church community, I’m sure there are lots of congregations in your area that would be healthier than where you came from. From your comments about medication, you probably want to avoid Pentecostal churches, Four Square Gospel, etc. Southern Baptist and Church of the Nazarene are probably not good places, either.
But you’ve been burned so badly you may have given up on church life. You wouldn’t be the first person. I just hate seeing you get stuck. Depression sucks, and isolation and loneliness don’t help. I’ve dealt with depression, and I hope you’re back on your meds!
Good luck, Gina.
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